Why are we doing this?

Layin' in bed around 7 this morning thinking i may sleep for a few hours and go on with the day. Well i was awake. and i was with gillian. so we laughed really hard and i couldn't stop crying from laughing, which never happens and it felt awesome. we we're wondering why we were even getting into bed. because we assume our body needs to lay horizontal and shut down in order to continue. right? WELL I DON'T KNOW, I SUPPOSE ANYTHING CAN BE REAL IF WE WANT, RIGHT?
pardon. then we laughed at the thought of "bed" and the preparation that is done before, and the blankets, and pillows, and mattress, and pajamas, and WHAT IS ALL THAT?

ah-dannow.

i am going to play with my brain and see how long i can go.

some of the other homies are doing something brand new or different this week as well.

it's like a documentation of the shadows casted by the mundane and whats hiding

in our brains.


who knows. i am in absolute experimental mode for the next month and a half before i get down to business, but with my time left here, i am going to sink in deep, but with a dog mask on.

so it's like actively participating in everything present, in the opposite way of it's intention.

like COLLEGE.

okay, so it's been 30 hours and i wrote something crazy last night and i feel kind of crazy right now. but i suppose that's rather norm-mal. norm mal. ha. haaaaaaaaaa. this music makes me feel really okay and i kind of feel like i am in a middle-eastern, lounge in SPACE floating into blackness and furthering a mystical wonder that's ignited so intensely within my rib cage. weird things in the corners of my eyes. like dark shadows bouncing. the computer screen doesn't help. and my vision is a tad blurry, i am noting. this is silly. but thats fine because laughing feels EXCELLENT. and so we'll just keep going and note some fancies along the way. K!

hungry, but no appetite.
cold, but no desire to change
happy, but NO BUT! I AM HAPPY AND I AM EXCITED AND I AM ok.

the past is always present if you're still believing

some things i've written at one point and another...


Tick, tick, tick. I felt wild. Literally, I felt like I was an animal on the run, I could have convinced anyone of anything and also myself. I had enough passion for the mundane to rule the world; and I was perfectly confident.

As Hunter would say, “a man on the run, and just sick enough to be totally confident.”

Be. Be all you can in any opportunity the moment brings you.

Make a lot of noise and write things down, because these are outlets that release both tension of the physical and mental expression.

You can make magical things come alive. Just LOOK.

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So, what does the devil do when they fall in love? Or what does a brain do when it grows a beating heart? I was existing yesterday with a presence that was something worth noting. I was there and I was in the moment, but I was watching it all happen, like I watched my life happen with or without me and whether I was participating or not, it was going to continue to pass by. My body was aging, my organs were turning, and my brain was so solitarily fixed on something. Regardless, I am only sharing because it was a wild awareness to have at the moment.

___

Buddy’s.


They are just the best. Be with your buddies.

And by be I am referring to the state and that is all. Just be. Get your buddy, or buddies and get comfortable, lay under the stars, stare at the sky, roll in the grass, light up the grass, feel, smile, and just be. I recently did this with a new buddy of mine, and it was interesting because we had just met a few days before, but we were on my roof looking out for the solar eclipse, and we were just being for a while. Silence, laying, looking at the shapes of the positive of negative in the sky, viewing space, seeing energy, feeling perfect. We we’re simply, existing. It was the most beautiful experience I have had in a while and I was completely effected by it.

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i said, i will write for you. because it is the writing withthe intention of furthing you in some formula which results in an explosion of beauty and happiness.
and i said i will write for you because in writing for you i am writing for me, because i like to do things to make other’s feel beautiful, and i like you.
and ill write for you because you could be anyone, and yet your someone, your someone i am thinking of right now, but that could be anyone.
and i will write for anyone because anyone could be you and with that, the small or large chance that it could be you, that’s why i’ll write.
it could be you, it being the reason why i am writing. It being you, It being me, It being the way we coexist. It and it doing , well, it.
and i am writing for it. For it. for the concept or belief, rather/or too that by writing for it, the formula of functionality that is unique to you and i, i am
furthering the power it has. I am writing for it for this. It is this. and

this

is

it.

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At least we are here.

In the grass. This is a maze of everything we know. Jump up. Get out.

FALL IN LOVE.

__

And if all the sudden it’s DONE.

And you’re OUT.

And exactly where you said you NEEDED TO BE.

And ALL OF A SUDDEN... You’re here.


DO IT DO IT DO IT.

It is better this way.

You are SUPPOSED TO DO JUST THIS.

Because you felt you should. So feel it out. And continue trying it all.


You will find it.


And you will weave the most beautiful web and it will make people STOP.


And WONDER.



Save us while we can.

Listen

Standing in the tall grass
Thinking nothing
You know we need oxygen to breath
Whenever you are walking you're just moving the ground
Whenever you are talking you're just moving your mouth
Where ever you look you're just looking down





i was staring at the moon, and i was staring at the leaf sprouted on the tree, and i saw the similarity... we are just being. me and the sprout, existing is all we are. being is all, so lets be it all.

school services go to work.

they have a beautiful library here. and it has a beautiful scanner. so i scanned some beautiful things.

READ:

Recorded while highly focused on the beats per minute.

This may be a blog

i have started this as a new blog that i will start when i feel that i am beginning a completely new chapter in my life.

i believe this will be on or around august 22.

until then....

let be, look up, feel, and play.