and ya don't stop

i fell asleep on mistake last night. ALL INTENTIONS OF STAYING AWAKE. it's ok. i feel okay now, and i am continuing to try. i will take a nap of 40 mins around 4, or 6. i feel hungry but i am not in the mood for food. this untitled beirut is making me feel fucking amazing. the joys of losing weight - under Real People/Beirut. zach condon a while back. yeah and so it keeps going. i talked to a man today that told me what i am doing is a path of unhappiness, and then i LAUGHED because i am smiling at the air.

LOOK AT THE AIR.
medical herbs make your face feel funny.
and say hello to mr. ink



and LISTEN:

Why are we doing this?

Layin' in bed around 7 this morning thinking i may sleep for a few hours and go on with the day. Well i was awake. and i was with gillian. so we laughed really hard and i couldn't stop crying from laughing, which never happens and it felt awesome. we we're wondering why we were even getting into bed. because we assume our body needs to lay horizontal and shut down in order to continue. right? WELL I DON'T KNOW, I SUPPOSE ANYTHING CAN BE REAL IF WE WANT, RIGHT?
pardon. then we laughed at the thought of "bed" and the preparation that is done before, and the blankets, and pillows, and mattress, and pajamas, and WHAT IS ALL THAT?

ah-dannow.

i am going to play with my brain and see how long i can go.

some of the other homies are doing something brand new or different this week as well.

it's like a documentation of the shadows casted by the mundane and whats hiding

in our brains.


who knows. i am in absolute experimental mode for the next month and a half before i get down to business, but with my time left here, i am going to sink in deep, but with a dog mask on.

so it's like actively participating in everything present, in the opposite way of it's intention.

like COLLEGE.

okay, so it's been 30 hours and i wrote something crazy last night and i feel kind of crazy right now. but i suppose that's rather norm-mal. norm mal. ha. haaaaaaaaaa. this music makes me feel really okay and i kind of feel like i am in a middle-eastern, lounge in SPACE floating into blackness and furthering a mystical wonder that's ignited so intensely within my rib cage. weird things in the corners of my eyes. like dark shadows bouncing. the computer screen doesn't help. and my vision is a tad blurry, i am noting. this is silly. but thats fine because laughing feels EXCELLENT. and so we'll just keep going and note some fancies along the way. K!

hungry, but no appetite.
cold, but no desire to change
happy, but NO BUT! I AM HAPPY AND I AM EXCITED AND I AM ok.