this

makes me feel happy and young.

times alone

times together

both at the same time is the greatest.

Hey you know what?

i think you're fine.
and i think that thoughts are REAL.
and if you can THINK it,
than it IS.

and i think that people really enjoy having fun.
and if that's all we could do then, we would float into the thin air.
laughing.
and smiling at everyone.

BUT if you say that to an "average joe" (though he does not exist) but the people of the world, they may tell you that life CANNOT always be fun and that's silly.


but,
but,
but,


THEN LIFE OUGHTA BE REEVALUATED FOR IT'S ULTIMATE GOAL, HUH?

les flip it, shall we?

smile with me!

i will try and count.

i was just told that my texts regarding the beauty of the leaves and wonderful grass i lay on, are disheartening.

WHATS GOING ON WITH THIS PLACE!


ahhhhhhhhh gasblaskdbjaksfbjldsk.

makes me wanna whale.


BUT i did discover an amazing spot last night, middle of brooklyn, with so much grass and huge hills and rows of trees and crazy stairs and insane trees and beauty beauty beauty so much everywhere. and also last night there were so many pups and i couldn't take it, they were having so much fun, i was squeeling my heart out, and so it went. i got a walking stick. surprise!

i have slept approximately 32 hours since saturday. i don't have any idea what that means, besides i have been trying not to sleep at all and twice i passed out and slept through alarms. i feel really good and a tad stoooooooooop.

but sokay.
SALL OK.
ok?
k.


HEY DO YOU KNOW THE ALBUM , the joys of losing weight by the real people (beirut)?

it makes everything shine softly.

HAVE A NICE DAY.
SEE THE BEAUTIFUL LEAVES AND WONDERFUL GRASS.
(and if people say anything regarding the loss of confidence due to a marvel in beauty...

...than laugh because people are nuts and caught in it sometimes.


YEAH.

dirty eyes

are ok.


this guy.






today, i felt nothing.
i did nothing.
and still SO MUCH HAPPENED.
i mean,
i assume it did.
we don't have to do a damn thing, and the rest continues to do.
do did done
damnshitdoop
poop
SOKAY!

Are we dead or alive?

TO NOT BE RESTRICTED BY TIME & SPACE.

this movie rules. and it's fun to watch.

listen then do

CEX

and ya don't stop

i fell asleep on mistake last night. ALL INTENTIONS OF STAYING AWAKE. it's ok. i feel okay now, and i am continuing to try. i will take a nap of 40 mins around 4, or 6. i feel hungry but i am not in the mood for food. this untitled beirut is making me feel fucking amazing. the joys of losing weight - under Real People/Beirut. zach condon a while back. yeah and so it keeps going. i talked to a man today that told me what i am doing is a path of unhappiness, and then i LAUGHED because i am smiling at the air.

LOOK AT THE AIR.
medical herbs make your face feel funny.
and say hello to mr. ink



and LISTEN:

Why are we doing this?

Layin' in bed around 7 this morning thinking i may sleep for a few hours and go on with the day. Well i was awake. and i was with gillian. so we laughed really hard and i couldn't stop crying from laughing, which never happens and it felt awesome. we we're wondering why we were even getting into bed. because we assume our body needs to lay horizontal and shut down in order to continue. right? WELL I DON'T KNOW, I SUPPOSE ANYTHING CAN BE REAL IF WE WANT, RIGHT?
pardon. then we laughed at the thought of "bed" and the preparation that is done before, and the blankets, and pillows, and mattress, and pajamas, and WHAT IS ALL THAT?

ah-dannow.

i am going to play with my brain and see how long i can go.

some of the other homies are doing something brand new or different this week as well.

it's like a documentation of the shadows casted by the mundane and whats hiding

in our brains.


who knows. i am in absolute experimental mode for the next month and a half before i get down to business, but with my time left here, i am going to sink in deep, but with a dog mask on.

so it's like actively participating in everything present, in the opposite way of it's intention.

like COLLEGE.

okay, so it's been 30 hours and i wrote something crazy last night and i feel kind of crazy right now. but i suppose that's rather norm-mal. norm mal. ha. haaaaaaaaaa. this music makes me feel really okay and i kind of feel like i am in a middle-eastern, lounge in SPACE floating into blackness and furthering a mystical wonder that's ignited so intensely within my rib cage. weird things in the corners of my eyes. like dark shadows bouncing. the computer screen doesn't help. and my vision is a tad blurry, i am noting. this is silly. but thats fine because laughing feels EXCELLENT. and so we'll just keep going and note some fancies along the way. K!

hungry, but no appetite.
cold, but no desire to change
happy, but NO BUT! I AM HAPPY AND I AM EXCITED AND I AM ok.

ahhhhh. JUST LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

but really,


FEEL

and we're ok

WE'RE OKAY.

FOREVER. ok?

OK.


I am going to slime some glue together now.


OK?


ok.

the earth

is MOVING.

so the stars...

THEY WILL ALIGN AND REALIGN.

and you will FEEL.

ALOT.





better now?

this man.

saw him at this hole in the wall gallery in WILLIAMSBURG (glak.)and he absolutely blew my mind.

i mean....








ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh


and these players opened.
DAMN.

LUKAS LIGETI

EZEKIEL HONIG

the past is always present if you're still believing

some things i've written at one point and another...


Tick, tick, tick. I felt wild. Literally, I felt like I was an animal on the run, I could have convinced anyone of anything and also myself. I had enough passion for the mundane to rule the world; and I was perfectly confident.

As Hunter would say, “a man on the run, and just sick enough to be totally confident.”

Be. Be all you can in any opportunity the moment brings you.

Make a lot of noise and write things down, because these are outlets that release both tension of the physical and mental expression.

You can make magical things come alive. Just LOOK.

___


So, what does the devil do when they fall in love? Or what does a brain do when it grows a beating heart? I was existing yesterday with a presence that was something worth noting. I was there and I was in the moment, but I was watching it all happen, like I watched my life happen with or without me and whether I was participating or not, it was going to continue to pass by. My body was aging, my organs were turning, and my brain was so solitarily fixed on something. Regardless, I am only sharing because it was a wild awareness to have at the moment.

___

Buddy’s.


They are just the best. Be with your buddies.

And by be I am referring to the state and that is all. Just be. Get your buddy, or buddies and get comfortable, lay under the stars, stare at the sky, roll in the grass, light up the grass, feel, smile, and just be. I recently did this with a new buddy of mine, and it was interesting because we had just met a few days before, but we were on my roof looking out for the solar eclipse, and we were just being for a while. Silence, laying, looking at the shapes of the positive of negative in the sky, viewing space, seeing energy, feeling perfect. We we’re simply, existing. It was the most beautiful experience I have had in a while and I was completely effected by it.

__

i said, i will write for you. because it is the writing withthe intention of furthing you in some formula which results in an explosion of beauty and happiness.
and i said i will write for you because in writing for you i am writing for me, because i like to do things to make other’s feel beautiful, and i like you.
and ill write for you because you could be anyone, and yet your someone, your someone i am thinking of right now, but that could be anyone.
and i will write for anyone because anyone could be you and with that, the small or large chance that it could be you, that’s why i’ll write.
it could be you, it being the reason why i am writing. It being you, It being me, It being the way we coexist. It and it doing , well, it.
and i am writing for it. For it. for the concept or belief, rather/or too that by writing for it, the formula of functionality that is unique to you and i, i am
furthering the power it has. I am writing for it for this. It is this. and

this

is

it.

__

At least we are here.

In the grass. This is a maze of everything we know. Jump up. Get out.

FALL IN LOVE.

__

And if all the sudden it’s DONE.

And you’re OUT.

And exactly where you said you NEEDED TO BE.

And ALL OF A SUDDEN... You’re here.


DO IT DO IT DO IT.

It is better this way.

You are SUPPOSED TO DO JUST THIS.

Because you felt you should. So feel it out. And continue trying it all.


You will find it.


And you will weave the most beautiful web and it will make people STOP.


And WONDER.



Save us while we can.

humans are animals.

we are, aren't we?

PEOPLE!

we're dying.


WE ARE DYING.


so let's do this and be happy, yeah?



yeah yeah yeahhhhhhhh.

oh i see.

FUCK!
EVERYTHING IS OKAY.
SO OKAY.
SO SO BEAUTIFUL.
BE STILL.
BE.
FEEL.
SMILE.


ITS HERE.

wait. what am i doing.

AM I REALLY PARTICIPATING IN THE MOST CORRUPT SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY?

i think i will try the OTHER way.

home in December. brooklyn, i don't think i am cool enough for you.

if you want free books and vegan food. come to philly.
join the movement.

WHY?

oh my. WHY? in NY, and in Philly. the past two weekends were magical.


obviously, the Philly show ruled way harder.

and buddies.

unclear and trying to wonder.

WILL YOU WONDER WITH ME?

I want to make Plato simple. I plan to do this by reaching out to your heart and making an absolute connection with the hope that you will then feel satisfied, whole, instead of lost, or perhaps, suicidal. Humor must be present in terms like these, when we are exposing all the mysteries only to further the actual mystical of life. It can be frightening, belittling and gives the sense that meaning is nonexistent, which may make you want to jump. But let’s stay a little while longer and note that we innately, do what we know will invoke feeling in us. “Few people have the ability to work out that we ourselves are bound to store the harvest we reap from others…” (Plato 79). People, we are smarter than we even are aware. But it’s our hearts that are the geniuses. What is this harvest we are gathering from others? Is he saying that we take on the feelings of others? Why would we do this? Perhaps, we look to others to feel, because we, ourselves are just brains on sticks? To take on another’s feelings, is to come in touch with our own, to ground ourselves back to a state of okay-ness, possibly? Feeling, I believe, for humans, is a sense, which we do not see as having much control over and therefore seems REAL. We’re back to where we’ve started. The earth is round. We keep going round. To feel is to be or participate in reality and to see is to deem reality and to think is to destroy, distort or “deform” reality. Plato, Socrates and Glaucon thought about it, and we went on the ride with them, but the beautiful thing about this “real” world, is that we choose the path we take as with the story we tell. I say it’s all questionable and indeed, all creatable.