Excerpts

still writing in this thing that may be a book.!?

And maybe I feel like I am broken record. But broken records skip and do all kinds of things we don’t want them to do because we know they are supposed to do something else, But then again, maybe it is okay to let it keep spinning, spinning, and going until we can just allow ourselves to not get up and fix it or flip it, and yes, I am now talking about the record when it is at the end and not broken, but just spinning and making that noise, that if your speakers are loud enough, or you listen close enough, you can formulate some word or phrase being repeated, again and again. How long can we allow this record to spin? How long can we be okay, or how long will it take to get ourselves to a point of “okayness” to accept the noise and reptition and let go of the desire to change or alter this state?


What the hell is point? I mean, I know, I want to hear the other side of the record too, but also, I think it would be an intersting experiment to observe the brain as it is challanged to do something different from what it NATURALLY does without us even being aware.

Just an awareness strengthner and over-all wonderer I spose’.


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OhYEAH and now here I am fucking my brains out of the house with little people and stagnant statuses of sticky stuck silicon symbols of NOTHING.

And then it is GOING to happen and NOT FOR LONG and it feels like an ordinary moment when you KNOW IT IS ALLL depending on this ONE time,

And it’s as if you wont even realize it’s happening
Because its happening
Right
NOW.

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This flame is your spirit. It is what makes you, you. It is why you laugh at what you laugh at and why you yell the things you yell and why you get close to those of whom you get close to.

Keep your flame burning. DO all you need to fuel it. AND IF IT GOES OUT, if you feel down so far down and so defeated, become aware of this.

Then, look up.

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There is something, something about smiling that is happy. Well yes, of course, when we are happy, we often smile. But what about when we’re not happy? What if we smile then? I often find that I do not feel happy, and yet I have no idea why. So then I just smile and it’s like a rush of good feeling and I remember why I am happy.\

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